Toddler Problems
Don't Let Toddler Problems Get You Down
There will most certainly be toddler problems to contend with as long as there are toddlers. Perhaps we are fortunate in that we generally cannot remember too much from when we were toddlers. We might be more than a little embarrassed to realize how difficult we may have been to deal with at times, or how terrible we were capable of behaving. Somehow, our parents had the fortitude to see things through, which is one reason we are here today.
In dealing with toddler problems, it could be to our advantage to think like a toddler, though most of us have forgotten how to do that, and don't particularly want to go through it again. There are many reasons behind the way toddlers act in ways which we sometimes consider amusing, and at other times view with annoyance, anger, or even fear.
At the risk of oversimplifying things, toddlers usually behave in ways we don't approve of because they are either over stimulated, bored, tired, hungry, or sick. If you consider these five categories as root causes behind behavior issues, you may have a leg up on how to deal with them. One might even add intellect to the list, though it's difficult to know how to fit that in with the other categories. Intellect simply mean that the two year old is likely a lot smarter than we give him or her credit for, and not all of the actions or approaches to things are random acts, but at times rather carefully calculated.
The Tantrum - Any of the aforementioned categories, or a combination of two or more of them, can figure into one of the toddler problems we really wish we didn't have to put up with, and that's the temper tantrum. We often don't know how to deal with a temper tantrum. A tantrum in the living room is a far different animal from one in a department store, or heaven forbid, in church. One can't always look back to the last tantrum to figure out what the trigger was that caused the kid to go ballistic, but very often a tantrum is based on a child's inability to express himself or herself. He or she is intelligent enough to know what they want, but don't know how to go about trying to get it, aside from making lots of noise. At other times a tantrum may occur simply because the child is tired or perhaps sick. Here the child may not be feeling all that well, sick or not, but doesn't know how to express it. Tantrums usually get attention, often too much attention.
Cardinal Rules - While you may not be able to diffuse the situation quickly, or at least as quickly as you would like, there are two cardinal rules in dealing with a temper tantrum. Number one, keep your cool. You may want to slug the kid, even if others are looking, but slugging and shouting are out, the latter will only make matters worse, and the former could get you charged with child abuse. The number two rule is don't give in. Someone must have learned that from training animals. Once something is suddenly "OK", it tends to stick. Giving in will only convince the tantrum thrower that tantrums can be productive. There are as many other things to do or not do in dealing with a tantrum, as there are different types of tantrums, but if you keep your cool and don't give in, things usually won't get worse, and will probably eventually get better.
Check With Your Peers - There are many other toddler problems of course, such as problems associated with potty training, fear of the dark, a seemingly inability to learn to speak well by a certain age, picky eating habits, and many other things. Each has to be dealt with in its own way. Temper tantrums have been singled out here, as they tend to affect everyone in the vicinity, and not just the toddler or the parents. Grownups are capable of throwing tantrums too. If you have a friend or acquaintance who is known to do that sort of thing, it might be worthwhile to ask him or her what the usual provocative factor is. You may pick up something valuable you can use in dealing with your toddler.